Spoonman

Hey girls! Want a guilt free way to break up with that boyfriend you don't really like? We'll I've got the surefire solution for you.

The next time your "not quite boyfriend" is lovingly spooning with you, let a nasty fart rip. That's right, I'm talking about a real sheet-shaker. Make sure his junk is near the evacuation point for maximum effect. No matter how hot you are, there is no way for any man to recover from that violation. He will be forced to make up his own lame excuse to break up with you. Best of all, he will be too embarrassed to tell his buddies the real reason why, lest they discover his shame.

So there you have it. Use this power wisely. You're welcome.