CitiField Stadium

I just want to say how sick and tired I am of people complaining about CitiBank & naming rights.

For those of you who are unaware, before the whole financial crisis, CitiBank purchased the naming rights to the Mets' brand-spankin' new ballpark for the bargain-basement price of $400 Million over 20 years ($20 Million per year).

By the way, just in case I get accused of having ulterior motives, yes I am a Mets fan, but I also hate the name "CitiField." Let's be honest, this isn't the height of creativity here. Selling the naming rights for your newly constructed New York City ballpark to CitiBank so that they can name it CitiField is like farting in a crowded place and then looking around with your best "who farted?" face. I'm sure all of the 5 year old Mets fans out there think it's just cheeky that the Mets' new stadium has the word "Citi" in it. Oohhhh! Ahhhh! Golly, I just love double entendres! Tee-hee!

But listen, I may think it sucks, but to my grave I will defend CitiBanks' right to purchase it. I'll also defend the Mets' right to sell it to the highest bidder, or whomever they deem appropriate and for whatever reason they see fit (as long as it's not infringing upon anyone else's rights). After all, we are talking about Fred Wilpon's own private business entity (sole owner of the NY Mets). Who is anyone else to tell him how to run his own business? If you open a sandwich shop named "Shitty Food Delicatessen", as stupid a decision as I personally might think that is, it's still your decision to make and you're completely entitled to it. Dumbass.

This is precisely why I hate people. They're retarded. Actually, I'm sorry, that's an insult to all of the mentally handicapped people out there.

People get all worked up into a tizzy about CitiBank being run into the ground and they demand that its management be held accountable and new management be inserted to bring the company back afloat and blah, blah, blah... That part's all understandable and I agree 100%. But then, because they're so fucking stupid, the same people turn around and complain when CitiBank does things like keep the naming rights to this stadium which, incidentally, CitiBank purchased before everything went to shit. It's like the ultimate form of tunnel vision. Like some plumber from appalachia knows better how to run a multi-billion dollar international bank?

First of all, $20 Million a year is pocket change when you're talking about giant corporations like CitiBank. I know, that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. Deal with it. That's why the bailout was in the Billions... with a "B"... not an "M"... Billions...

Second of all, and this is the important part, what good is bailing out CitiBank if you're going to handcuff their ability to promote their business? As any ad guy will attest, part of doing business, a HUGE part of it, is finding new business. Or, in CitiBanks case, new customers. The American public grudgingly agrees to save corporations like CitiBank, because if we don't we'll all go back to pooping in holes and wiping with leaves. So then what do we do? We try to fuck the very company we saved by asking them to withdraw their marketing & advertising.

"Waaahhhh! You shouldn't use the bailout money for this! Wahhhh!!!"

Why the fuck not?! Seriously. Why not? Give me one good reason. What should they spend it on? Bonuses?

It's not that hard people. It's called foresight. It's not that complicated. In my opinion, the culprit really is the internet. For all of the wonderful things it's brought us, it has also made an expert out of everyone. That's why the plumber from appalachia thinks he knows better than everyone else. Listen Joe, or whatever your name is, stay out of it will ya? You may enjoy wiping your ass with poison ivy, but I don't.