So I was doing what I do best yesterday, getting paid to take a massive crap at work. Having the man instinctual need to read something, I picked up the Professional Lysol spray can. Holy shit (no pun intended). Have you ever read this thing?
The front of the can says it kills 99.9 percent of germs in 30 seconds. Ok, no big deal. But apparently this thing also kills crazy viruses and bacteria. Take a look at the red box: E. Coli, Hepatitis, Herpes, HIV-1 AIDS Virus. Yes that's right, AIDS.
"Kills Human Immunodeficiency Virus Type 1 (HIV-1)(AIDS VIRUS) and Hepatitis B Virus on Precleaned Environmental Surfaces/Objects Previously Soiled with Blood/Body Fluids "
So let me get this straight. I can have dirty Unfaithful sex with Roberto Alomar, spray this stuff on my man-bits and I'll be fine? Why are we hoarding this stuff for the overweight tech guy in the office that takes woolly mammoth shits? Why don't we ship this miracle spray off to Africa (or the Rock of Love Bus)?
The cure is here ladies and gentlemen. Lysol be thy name.
"Kills Human Immunodeficiency Virus Type 1 (HIV-1)(AIDS VIRUS) and Hepatitis B Virus on Precleaned Environmental Surfaces/Objects Previously Soiled with Blood/Body Fluids "
So let me get this straight. I can have dirty Unfaithful sex with Roberto Alomar, spray this stuff on my man-bits and I'll be fine? Why are we hoarding this stuff for the overweight tech guy in the office that takes woolly mammoth shits? Why don't we ship this miracle spray off to Africa (or the Rock of Love Bus)?
The cure is here ladies and gentlemen. Lysol be thy name.
Did you take that picture in the bathroom?
ReplyDeleteNo, in Roberto Alomar's bedroom.
ReplyDeleteHow do you think Magic's still alive...
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you have to ingest the Lysol?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to spray some on my bagel this morning.