Kentucky Derby

With the Kentucky Derby right around the corner, it’s time to start evaluating potential winners. There are several factors that go into picking a winner. And after thinking about it, it’s also a pretty good way of evaluating women. So take a trot with me…

Breeding. In horse racing, a winning lineage can help predict a winning offspring. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty close. If the sire was a great distance horse, and the dam was good on a sloppy track, chances are your offspring will be good going long distances in sloppy conditions. Same with girls. If they have good parents, chances are they turned out alright. Good breeding is very important to finding a winner.

Jockey. In horse racing, a very select few have a say in the outcome of a race. In fact here’s the formula. 80% percent of jockeys have no say if their horse can win a race. It’s all on the horse. But, 10 percent of jockeys can win a race for a horse, and 10 percent can lose a race for a horse. Same thing with a girl’s friends. It’s mostly up to the girl whether it’s successful. But a girl’s best friend can either steer a relationship into prosperity or bad results. Shitty friends = shitty outcomes. Great friends can lead to victory.

Equipment. In horse racing, the slightest equipment changes can make all the difference. Blinkers are a piece of equipment used on horse so that it can only look forward, making sure they’re not distracted by what’s going on around them. Some horses run better with blinkers, some don’t. Sometimes when other horses are still in the picture, it’s distracting to the horse. With women, blinkers are like ex boyfriends. Some women can perform with ex’s in their life, others are still hung up they can’t focus on the task at hand. Too caught up in what’s around them rather then winning the race. Putting blinkers on a woman is basically the equivalent on making give up contact with the ex’s or other potential suitors. Look for horses wearing blinkers. It means they’re at least trying to win.

Odds. Be careful of the favorite. Sure they win 30% of the time, but where’s the value? Favorites are like sluts. Yeah you win the race, but what do you have to show for it? Long shots are difficult too. These are the horses that have so many defects or reasons not to win, they’re barely worth playing. By the time you win with one of these nags, you’ve invested so much, you’re luck to even get your money back. Then there are the teases. The horses that look great on paper, have a decent price, but they just haven’t won yet. Be careful of these horses. If they’re so great, why haven’t they won. In my estimation, you want a horse that’s used to winning, but has also done it against other winners. A girl who goes home with the cute guy, but surrounds herself with a bunch of hags is not really a winner.

Good luck with your bet.